When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
