I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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