trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
