last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
