12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
