he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
wow bdsm is so cute
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