she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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