OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
