is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
