I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Randomize
