I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
