Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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