I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
