i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
The adults are the big ones right?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
