Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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