Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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