i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
