Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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