We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
