Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
