if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
