DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
