i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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