NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
