made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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