A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
