A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
