everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
