best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
