Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Randomize
