i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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