I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
