I could make wine with my vomit
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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