why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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