when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
