That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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