Buhtt sex?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
where are you?
Hypothermia
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Randomize
