I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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