Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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