He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Everyone says I win the strip club
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
