he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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