so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
