is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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