you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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