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so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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