Pappa wants mamma naked
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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