Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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