Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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