whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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