I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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