Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
