You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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