I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
