Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
