In the future we'll all be gay
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
