drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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