I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
