If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
