Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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