Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize