Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
