Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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