he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
